NASCAR is 10x as manly as golf

NASCAR is to golf as Braveheart is to Mystic Pizza. First of all, NASCAR is god dawl American as hell. Golf is played by people who look like they have manbreasts in wimpy polo shirts. What kind of sport has a guy named Jesper? John Daly at least looks like he could work in the pits. Most of the other guys look like they should sell shoes at JC Penny.

Tiger's wife is hot, but c'mon people. Take a look at the redneck women of NASCAR. They are smokin' like a fire pit BBQ! And do not bother me with that business about golf being athletic. You lose 25lbs driving Daytona. If you think Mickelson is coordinated, try pushing 2500lbs of high powered machine at 200 mph with 10" between you and the next guy. Badass baby! Golf's major challenge is to walk 18 holes. Give me a break!

So if you think golf is better than NASCAR, put on some depeche mode, fire up your appeltini and fluff your ascott. I will be drinking a budweiser, listening to molly hatchett and sporting my tattoos.

(NB: I’ve stated for the record that golf pushes the boundaries of “sport”, but I’m in a smacking mood, so let’s rumble!)

Jesus, I guess it all depends upon your interpretation of “manly”. Let us contemplate that thought over a warm glass of cognac with a fine Cuban cigar, shall we.

In contemplating the term manly, what maketh the man?

Is it Option A:

- Holding tournaments in places like Pebble Beach, Kapalua, and Pinehurst
- A sport played by men, in which women, despite their best efforts still cannot even compete on the same level with, let alone, win against men
- Entertaining fans respectful enough to encourage the best in their players by refraining from distraction
- Having sponsors like Cadillac, Bearing Point, and Tag Heuer

Or Option B:

- Driving in circles as fast as possible in towns with more members registered in the KKK than in Mensa
- Having sister sports (Indy) whereby women can openly compete, lead the race, and finish in the money
- Entertaining fans that “hoot ‘n holler” when their driver wins, refuse to accept that #3 ain’t the messiah (gawd bless his saoul!), and would “rather die than drive a Chevy”
- Having sponsors like 7-11, Viagara, and Tide

I'm going with Option A myself.